Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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