So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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