Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
