Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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