I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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