What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize