I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
my liver is dry heaving
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
