I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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