Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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