Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
