She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
