Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
