that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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