god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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