Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
