2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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