any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
