My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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