Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
