You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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