So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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