Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
