I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
third nipple confirmed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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