So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize