we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
