His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize