your room smells of hookers.
And success
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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