Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
