she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
