and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
