My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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