Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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