Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
