Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
