What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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