I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
