I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
