Your dad touched me again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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