I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
