im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
