dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
