So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
