It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize