he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
