Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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