Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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