Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
