i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
