So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
