I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
