Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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