I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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