New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
