Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
