Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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