Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize